Dorothy Rowe is a clinical psychologist and world-renowned author of over a dozen highly influential books including Wanting Everything, Depression: The Way Out of Your Prison and Beyond Fear. Her uncomplicated method of examining how we view reality has encouraged many thousands of people to realise a more meaningful existence.
Before meeting Dorothy Rowe I asked for her birth details so that I could bring her horoscope along to the interview. I knew she was cynical about the subject and half expected her to refuse. But far from wanting to withhold this information it turns out she had some unexpected problems in obtaining it for herself.
“Some years ago a friend who had got interested in astrology and had developed a computer programme to make predictions, asked me about the time of my birth. It was so important to him to know the exact time of day that I phoned my sister on whose sixth birthday I was born to ask her. She said that she remembered distinctly that I was born in the morning, but she spoke about this to our aunt who had been present at my birth. My aunt was adamant that I was born in the afternoon. My sister and my aunt fell out quite badly over this matter, and I resolved never to raise the question ever again. ”
Rowe has referred to astrology as an unrealistic but appealingly simplistic way of explaining a world full of uncertainty and doubt. “There are many advantages in believing in astrology because it can appear to provide a way of making sense of our lives. Originally, astrologers used to be very powerful people and some of them were quite good because they understood what people wanted from it. But some would use their power in ways that were not generally helpful and power always corrupts. This still happens today; people want to feel powerful so they claim to have magical capabilities.
Another advantage in believing in astrology is that it absolves people of responsibility. This is the same reason why explaining complex behaviour in terms of genes is so popular - even though some geneticists, like Professor Steve Jones at University College London, will always point out that they can’t even understand the genetics of height. To say a gene can explain complex behaviour like depression or schizophrenia is a nonsense. However, people like this explanation because it means it’s not their fault and they don’t have to do anything about it. Astrology does the same thing because it saves us from trying to understand why others behave the way they do.”
I suggested that astrology can be used as an aid to gain understanding into a person’s character rather than determining it. She nodded politely at my theory but fell tellingly quiet. I mention that it was through astrology that I got interested in taking a degree in psychology. “When you study psychology at university you have had to learn all the theories” she raised a sceptical eyebrow, “One of these ideas is that people are born with specific traits. This to me seems similar to what happens in astrology: it’s making value judgements about everybody’s behaviour. There is nothing there that’s an accurate measurement of something. For example, what you might call devious behaviour in someone, another might say ‘that person is very careful.’ Human qualities are in the eye of the beholder, you can’t just say ‘that’s the way they are.’
Although not a Buddhist, Rowe spoke of her interest in Buddhist teachings. “Well, something I’m always saying, and what my books are about, is explaining that the way we’re constructed physiologically means we can’t see reality directly - we can only see our own constructions. Now what I’ve done is to explain this in terms of current science but what current science has done is shown that Buddha was right: it’s not things in themselves that cause trouble but our opinions of things and our interpretations that cause the problems.
Buddha had very simple insights but people go and build all sorts of elaborate stuff up around them. Buddha would have been disgusted with people who call themselves Buddhists buying gold leaf and applying it to statues of Buddha in the same way that Jesus would have been appalled at the behaviour of some Christians. Jesus was quite clear about forgiveness but it still hasn’t penetrated some people’s minds.
Rowe thinks most of us come to a point where we question if our fixed interpretations accurately reflect what’s going on in our lives. “It’s wisdom, just understanding. People don’t need to read my books to see that. But where it’s difficult is when people are frightened of change. When you realise you have one set of ideas that don’t fit with what’s going on, it makes you query everything else that’s happening. Some are so frightened of uncertainty that they won’t change anything - so they tell everyone that they’re absolutely right and everyone else is wrong.”
She talked about her time in the health service, in the days when “you didn’t have to cure someone in six sessions as it is today”. Dorothy’s clients would find themselves washing dishes or hoovering and then out of the blue they would say ‘So that’s what Dorothy meant!’ “Once they had that realisation they had no more reason to see me. When they discovered they had the freedom to manage their own lives they could do things they hadn’t even dreamed of, never dared think about.”
I asked her, as someone who has studied human behaviour so intently, if there was anything that still surprised her about people. “It’s the way we can be so creative and resilient; we keep on going in the face of all sorts of knock-backs and terrible difficulties.”
In the second edition of her book Beyond Fear she explains how to recognise the need for change and how to have the courage to acknowledge and face our fears in order to find happiness.
Dorothy frequently writes about how as children we are often assigned roles - the outgoing one, the clever one, the moody one etc. This causes problems when our families refuse to see that we have developed our own personalities. With Christmas fast approaching I ask her how we should best approach family reunions.
“Christmas is presented to us as a time when we get together to get loving” she laughed ironically, “but when people see you have changed they aren’t comfortable with that because then they have to alter their ideas of who you are. Thinking is hard work!”
Rowe does her best to avoid Christmas. “If you live on your own you can be dying of loneliness 364 days in a year but then they won’t leave you alone on Christmas day. One of the nicest Christmases I ever had was spent with a good friend who had invited a group of waifs and strays, nobody had a family to go to, we had a lovely time because there were no expectations.”
She confesses that it’s been in recent years that she’s been most contented and that her idea of heaven is to potter around in her garden while listening to people tell her stories. So what’s her recipe for happiness? “Value and accept yourself. If you do this you will not be frightened of other people and will have good relationships with them. It’s also very important not to force the world into what you think it should be.
Back in the 40s in his book The Perennial Philosophy, Aldous Huxley went through all the books of wisdom, all the mystical Christian traditions and Eastern philosophies, and found that all the different concepts basically said the same thing - value and accept yourself as part of everything that exists - everything constantly changes and everything is interconnected.”
We are all psychologists on some level and we all have theories of why people behave as they do - though some people’s theories are closer to reality than others. But some people’s ideas are more subtle, they watch others closely and see connections. We all build an individual idea of how the world works and we see patterns in everything. It’s the way our brains work - we can’t not do it. We form our impressions into something that makes sense to us, something that’s based on past experience. We see what we expect to see; in near death experiences, you never hear of a Hindu walking towards the light to meet Jesus.
Dorothy believes in living as closely to reality as possible. “But if we saw reality as it really is it would overwhelm us. I would be looking at you and wouldn’t be able to tell where you began or ended, it would be terribly confusing mass of atoms and electrons. That’s why we organise the world into meaningful patterns and structures.” At this point I thought about the issues we cover on Prediction and understood that many of these subjects are attempting to do just that. |
